Saturday, December 29, 2012

Abuse of Women - some of what you could do?

I have linked to various posts in the past about self-defence for women and pretty much each such post has been made when there was an instance of a rape in India.

Sadly, today is yet another occasion.

This collection of solution ideas by Prem Panicker is perhaps the most educated one I have read. There will be others. Support such work.

While the above is perhaps the way to go in the long term, on a daily basis, what could you do?

  • Don't put up with misogyny/abuse of women in the workplace or at home or any place you visit. The next you see your colleague, friend, spouse, parent etc display such behaviour, express your displeasure. Do not patronize the source of such behaviour - be it a business establishment or a person. Adopt zero tolerance. At least on this one account, I can claim to have done something. I don't associate with people who I know to have abused someone I know. Boycott such people. See what  a difference simply ignoring that person/isolation/just having nothing to do with such a person will make.
  • My own experience at this is not extensive. Am I/have I been guilty of being discriminatory against women? I hope not. But if I have been or if I ever am, point it out to me as emphatically as you can. And by the same token, next time you see someone (incl. me) abuse a woman because she is one and not for another reason, kick them where it hurts. Shins are a good place to start.
  • I have had women I run with or coach harassed by general public. The women have been mostly unflappable and civil about it as long as the people doing it, kept the harassment verbal. But I don't think even this needs to be tolerated although I have heard of women on the run, having their bottom pinched. I have personally been witness to an auto-driver come threateningly close to a woman I was running with. I shudder to think what may have happened if she had been running alone. On that occasion, we actually decided to let it be since we thought picking a fight was not worth our time. I am disappointed with my decision. I hope to not do so in the future. While verbal abuse may not necessarily need to be physical, I believe that punishment/action against verbal abuse should be a good deterrent against future such or worse behaviour by the origin of such behaviour. Know that section 502 of the IPC can be invoked at the very minimum. For worse conduct, section 298 A and B may be also relevant. Call the police, support the registration of FIRs against such people. Go to courts and police stations. Spend time in supporting systemic action against such people. Show some spine. As some people have written, apathy is our general malaise. Watching such events occur and then sighing over them is WAY poorer compared to taking some action when you could help make a difference. ACT
  • I am very happy to report that when I joined Infosys, our very first session in employee orientation was on sexual harassment (Grievance Redressal Board or GRB as it was then called). I think it set the tone. While it didn't/doesn't obviously make the incidence of sexual harassment/abuse zero, it does lay the groundwork for a better future and victims becomes more comfortable to voice their experiences and help prevent future occurrences. Make sure your colleagues are comfortable to report such experiences if ever they were the subject of such abuse. Demand a forum/mechanism from your employer to do so, if they don't already have one.
My first step at following my own advice has been to keep this post free of any language which shows gender-bias and insensitivity. I hope to extend this further into life.
I have tried in the past to keep my speech free of expletives and managed well. But I keep lapsing into using them to express myself. I hope to remedy that to some extent and avoid gender-specific abuses even in casual speech, in the future. Lets see. It is a start.

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