Flying High?

This is not something that happens daily and I mean it quite literally. Read on…
Recently I had the opportunity to fly in a private plane - …Really?! Wow, I thought when I heard that it was happening.

So I am like all excited when I board the small 6 seater plane. Before this, there was this all smugness about getting your bags carried and you breezing through security checks, no boarding pass queues, et al….Or as a worldly wise friend said, “This is the first time, I have had a porter at an airport!”

Anyways, we are sitting in the plane. Then the pilot gets in with the co-pilot. The door hatch is closed. The plane is really tiny. The engines rev up and I notice that we are stationary. While I look at the cockpit to see why, the copilot asks ,”What does this button do? Oh it is the external power. Ok, I won’t turn it on!” I swear that this is the 1st time I have been afraid of flying. No choice. While my friends are also going through some similar emotions, we try and distract ourselves by looking around and doing some small talk…

One comments that planes like this can do only short haul flights since there is no loo around. Another notices that the seating chart says, 4 club seats, 2 pilot seats, 1 seat by the door side and 1 lavatory seat! He looks around and then counting down realizes that he must be sitting on what must be the potty! He pulls his seat cushion up and confirms the hypothesis! He consoled himself saying that atleast it was pressurized, no unpleasant sights or smells there…In the meanwhile one of our friends in the cockpit picks up the flight manual and starts thumbing thru! And in case, I was getting comfortable, he tries a few buttons and switches to which the pilot says, “No, not that one…” While our co-pilot asks, “Why is this not deflecting?” Then he starts the propulsion gear and we get some some irritating beeping noises. He switches it off and says, “There’s something wrong!” After a few such tries, my heart was saying hello to my epidermis.

Man, I was like, … Ok, I have killed some ants and mosquitoes, but that was mostly out of self defence. Bhagwan (What we call God in India…), bachale (help!)…
Anyways, to be fair to the gentlemen in the driver seats, we did takeoff and land safely…

And there was this spectacular sight of the horizon diagonally across the screen when we did this turn before coming down at our destination…And then there was the automatic countdown over the speakers when we came into land…Phew…
No pretty stewardesses, no trolleys of food – just two flasks of coffee and tea, some 2 dozen packets of biscuit (what were they thinking? … we were no out for combat) and toffees…

Also, the guy on the potty remarked that, it was the longest he had ever sat on the potty... But, then such is life. Think - the next time you fly, hope you are not close to the cockpit…